Tumblr Prompt Collection
by Tenoko
Summary: An ongoing collection of fic prompt fills from Tumblr. May be pairing/Gen with each fill. Prompt #7: Here I am Without You. The prompt for was Dean to get to see Cas' adapted people skills, and maybe even flirting ability, with lots of angst. Takes place before the episode where we Ezekiel's true identity.
1. Prompt 1: Vain for You

**Prompt #1: Vain For You**

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It took Dean a minute to realize while he'd been brushing his teeth at one of the sinks lining the wall in the bathroom, that Cas remained standing in front of the full-length mirror. He was regarding his reflection with an expression belying his displeasure with what he saw.

Spitting his foamy mouthful into the basin, Dean patted his mouth dry with his towel before moving to hang it on the hook. A glance around had him wondering how he'd come in here without a clean shirt to change into. He'd done three-point shots with his dirty laundry into the hamper, before reaching for his shirt and not finding it.

If Sam was starting a prank war again with the intention of winning, he was sorely underestimating his brother.

Cas still stood frowning at the mirror, and Dean wondered what was going through his head. Did he hate his mortal body, its limitations? Did he miss Heaven and being an angel? Would the grief of that loss turn to hate directed at Dean, blaming him for not stopping it?

"What's wrong?" he asked finally, standing with one hip against the sink.

"You're a good cook," Cas said rather than answering, making Dean blink in surprise.

"Uh, thanks? Take it breakfast was good?"

Cas inhaled deeply and it came out as an audible sigh. "Everything you cook is good. My acclimation to being human has been easier than I expected, your cooking has been incentive to remember to eat regularly."

"Then why are you glaring at the mirror like you want to smite it?"

If possible, Cas looked even more displeased, gaze raking over his form. "I've gained weight."

Dean didn't mean to snort a laugh, he really didn't, and instantly sobered when Cas shot him a cross look. The hunter held up his hands. "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting that. Thought maybe you were angry about being human, not that you think you've gained a few pounds."

The angel looked down at himself, a hand coming up to rest on his stomach, before he regarded the planes of Dean's chest and stomach in a way that made the other man really wish he had a shirt to put on.

"You're body is much more toned than my own."

Huffing another laugh, Dean scratched at the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Well, I mean, Jimmy was a jogger right? He was fit that way. You look fine." He coughed lightly, remembering the couple of times he'd glimpsed Cas without a shirt on. "You're pretty fit. Maybe not as much as me and Sam, but I mean, we workout daily, Sam more than me. If you're worried about what you look like, you can start working out with us. Go jogging with Sam or whatever. And we go on hunts more than you. We burn off whatever calories we eat, whereas you've stuck close to home since you moved in." Dean let his gaze rake over the former angel, trying to see whatever it was that Cas did. "I think you're worrying too much. I can't see a difference."

Cas was regarding his reflection again, the hand on his stomach finally falling away. "This is my body now and I want it to be found attractive and appealing."

Dean flushed bright red, opening his mouth and not even sure how to reassure the angel on that particular subject, so instead deflected, laughing lightly and trying to ignore the sour turn of his stomach at the idea of Cas seeking romantic entanglements.

"Oh yeah? Decided to try for the whole romance thing now that you're human?"

"Being human finally allowed me to fully recognize the longing, yes. I kept misunderstanding the feeling when I was an angel." He glanced back at Dean. "But I want to be attractive, to them and for them, so that attention I garner will fill them with pride rather than shame."

Brows knitting, Dean said, "Okay, first off: whoever loves you is gonna love you no matter what you look like. Looks fade. Humans get older. We get scars. Life and crap happens. You may gain weight, you may lose, bones may get broken, and facial lines and gray hair _will_ happen, but whoever loves you is gonna love you regardless, and if you ever tell Sam I said this, I will call you a liar until the day I die, understood?"

Chuckling, Cas gave a solemn nod and grabbed his toiletry bag, preparing for another day. Dean held the door open for him, eyeing the other man with a masochistic sense of curiosity. He wanted to know who apparently had caught the angel's eye that suddenly made him conscious of his appearance, trying to remember the women they had met or saw regularly, which of them would be Cas' type. Though the angel caught attention from both men and woman- and why the hell wouldn't he- Dean had only ever seen Cas show interest in female partners, what with Meg, which he didn't want to think about, and then when Dean had been to the future and met free love Cas.

With a nod of thanks, Cas stepped out into the hall and headed back toward his room.

The self-punishing part of Dean wouldn't be denied though. "Hey," he called, and the angel glanced back without stopping, "whose attention are you wanting anyway?"

Cas gave him an impish smile. "Yours."

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	2. Prompt 2: To See You Smile

Prompt #2: To See You Smile

ANL This is a prompt fill. Got an Ask over on Tumblr for I'd love to see Dean casually flirting with Cas, thinking the angel won't realise that he actually has a huge gay love for him, but Cas is smarter and more observant than he'd anticipated and he calls Dean out on it quickly :) Basically Dean shitting his pants cause his crush might become aware of his feelings before he can really make sense of them~".

* * *

It was a small thing, this new impulse. Not a big deal, it was just a new quirk Dean had developed since Cas became human and moved permanently into the Batcave with them.

He liked to touch Cas. To have that physical reminder that, yes, Cas was really alive and there, and when the shit hit the fan, for once, they had all survived. That despite Cas' original plans to leave and return to Heaven to make up for his past mistakes, he had ended up being able to remain by Dean's side.

It was almost compulsive, really. He'd barely touch the angel's back as he moved past him in the library, a light enough touch it could be excused as just letting the other man know, 'hey, don't back up and don't startle, I'm right here' as he moved by.

He would nudge him when it was their turn to wash dishes, elbow gently prodding to gain angel's attention. When Cas looked up, Dean would grin and flick suds at him, then laugh at the other man's startled expression. Laugh at blue eyes nearly crossing to look at the white bubbles on his nose.

When they began training Cas in gun control, Dean found himself often grinning and giving the angel's back a clap, fingers squeezing his shoulder before unwillingly letting his hand fall away.

Sometimes Castiel just looked at him in confusion, blue eyes considering Dean like he was a puzzle the former angel was trying to flesh out. Other times, they'd share a secret smile, the faintest of smirks pulling at the side of Cas' mouth.

He'd never admit it except in the privacy of his own head, but every time Cas smiled, Dean's chest tightened in absolute affection. Maybe it was because his friend didn't do it often, but nothing made Dean's day better than being able to make the other man smile.

Sometimes just an innocent touch was impossibly hard to keep innocent, it was a struggle for Dean to keep his distance, to remain platonic, when everything about the angel seemed to draw him in, made him want to push a little bit further and see how the angel would react, how he would be received with touches that lingered too long, if he intentionally invaded the angel's personal space, if he made what he was thinking known without saying it.

He didn't, of course, for countless reasons. There were always reasons why he couldn't act on the… _whatever_ that was between them, that had to be between them. Or maybe it was something that had once been between them and wasn't any longer, because Cas had never attempted to act on it, either, perhaps didn't feel whatever it was Dean felt and was completely unwilling to put a name to.

It was there for Dean though, and it wasn't going away, any time soon or ever.

Maybe he was making excuses, and that was why he was not coming out right and addressing what was between them with Cas, couldn't just say, 'Hey, I want more than what we have now, and it's new and it's scary, but I could love you forever'. Not that he was saying he _loved_ Castiel in anything other than a familial way, he wasn't, because they were friends and Cas had been through too much recently for Dean to do something as selfish as thrusting his own wants and desires on a man who's whole world had been tipped on it's ear recently.

Dean contented himself with the not entirely necessary touching and fond teasing, which occasionally earned him a pointed look from Sam. It was a look that said 'I know exactly what you are up to and you aren't fooling anyone, so knock it off already', except Sam clearly lived in a fantasy land, because there was nothing going on for Sam to see through. Nothing at all.

Okay, so _maybe_ his words or actions could _possibly_ seen as flirtatious, not that he was saying they were, because he wasn't, but they might could be seen that way. It didn't mean anything. And it was his teasing that more often than not coaxed a shadow of a smile from Cas and chased the haunted look from his eyes, and neither Dean or Sam were putting a stop to anything that could do that.

The problem became that it was far too easy to be comfortable around Cas, to lean into him and whisper a joke, to bump shoulders as they worked side-by-side, to reach across the space between them and make contact, to tease him in a way that might be misconstrued as flirting, which he most definitely was _not_ doing.

"We will need to get past the receptionist and into the room where they store their records and other files," Cas stated, looking at a blueprint of the building they were planning to infiltrate the next day. He frowned and pulled a file closer to him on the table while Dean continued replacing books they had pulled out for research. "It would be easier if we could just break in at night."

"Except their security and night watchman makes that impossible," pointed out Dean, shelving another book before grinning at Cas. "It's your job to keep the receptionist distracted while Sam and I sneak past."

The brunette looked at him, twisting around in his chair. "I do not understand why I am the distraction. Your people skills are much better than mine."

Dean winked- in a _strictly platonic_ manner. "Ah, but that's why you're on this team, Cas, you balance us out: you're pretty face and ridiculous blue eyes to my brawn and Sam's brain. Just flash her that smile of yours and she'll be completely incapable of noticing anything else in the world," he said grinning and putting another book away.

The other man's eyes narrowed on him, before a slow smile made it's way onto his features, smug and teasing in one. "Dean Winchester," he drawled, sounding fond and amused, making the blond hunter look at him in question. "Are you _flirting_ with me?"

A deep blush blossomed on the other man's face and he scoffed, "What? _No_!" He looked quickly away, absorbed with making sure the books were correctly alphabetized. What comes after 'e'? Oh, right. 'F' for 'fucked'. "That would be-"

"Perfectly acceptable," Cas stated from right by his elbow, making Dean jump in surprise and whirl around, back hitting the bookcase hard. The angel had his head angled to the side, eyes studying Dean's features while the hunter's heart slammed painfully against his ribcage. "I do not understand why this between us is the one thing you decide to dance around rather than being straight forward about, as if there is any outcome possible other than the obvious."

Dean could barely hear him over the mantra of panic in his own head. "This between us?" he echoed, light-headed with panic and the need to escape because there was no way this could end well, and he would still have to live with Cas when his carelessness blew up in his face. "What obvious outcome?"

Cas didn't answer verbally, but reached one hand up, curling it around the back of Dean's neck as he stepped closer, almost right up against Dean, and pulled the hunter in for a kiss, just a simple press of their mouths together. Distantly, Dean heard the book he'd still been holding hit the ground. Cas pulled away just a fraction, gaze flicking over Dean's face as the hunter stared at him with wide, shocked eyes.

Then with an almost pained groan, Dean surged forward, crushing their mouths together again, kissing Cas with everything he had, and getting just as much enthusiasm in return, Castiel gripping the front of Dean's shirt while the hunter snaked his arms around the shorter man's waist and pulled him flush up against him, earning a sound from Cas that did so many things to Dean, things he doesn't act on, happy to just make out with Cas in the stacks like teenagers and revel in the impossibility of it, to have everything he never thought he could have, right there in his arms.

Sam came in at one point, completely unnoticed, did a double-take when he saw them, and had quickly pivoted and fled the room, grabbing Kevin by the elbow before the prophet could go into the library.

"Let's go read in the kitchen. Change of scenery," he insisted.

"But we just came from the kitchen," protested the younger man.

Sam just dragged him along behind him while the pair in the library remained blissfully unaware, hidden amongst the books and kissing, completely and utterly lost in their own world.

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	3. Prompt 3: That's What Friends Are For

Done as a prompt fill for "Hey! So~ as you are looking for prompts... how about some Cas/Sam bonding time, preferably with Dean looking on fondly? Maybe geeking out over the books & stuff at the batcave, or taking on a (training) case, just the two of them? Having a beer together? Looking for fallen angels? Bonus points for not!awkward!Cas and not!jealous!Dean. (Whether or not it's Destiel (or Sastiel, or Wincest, or Wincestiel idec) is up to you :D)" Prompt #3: That's What Friends Are For -

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 **Prompt #3: That's What Friends Are For**

It had been about a week since the angels had fallen and Cas had come to live with them. The hunter community was in a frenzy trying to take in all the fallen angels, Garth barking orders in a way that would have made Bobby proud. Meanwhile, the Batcave had been just as active, with Dean, Sam, Kevin, and Charlie all setting up shop in the library, using their sway and connections to help in the process. Also, where did the current situation leave them, what with Heaven empty of angels and the gates to Hell still wide open?

For his part, Cas was… quiet, and everyone pretty much left him to his own devices, save for Dean and Charlie. They were the ones who would seek the angel out and force him to participate, whether training or research or 'hey, it's your turn to help with the dishes'. More often than not, both Cas and Dean could be found watching the sunrise together, Dean bringing the angel a cup of coffee as an excuse to not let the angel be left with his own thoughts for two long- even while neither one of them spoke.

Though he wanted to help Cas, Sam also didn't know how. They had never had the easy relationship Dean and Cas had, in fact, it seemed more often than not, they kept finding themselves on opposing sides of the current conflict. He knew they were friends, but at the same time it was like there was a chasm between them and Sam had no idea how to fix it. It shouldn't just be Dean that was there for their friend during the worst times in his life.

Plopping down in the armchair near Cas, Sam flashed him a smile when the other man looked up in question. "Hi," he greeted. He felt oddly nervous, and took a moment to wipe sweaty palms on his jeans.

Cas' brow furrowed. "Hello," he said, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Biting his cheek, Sam bobbed his head, glancing around at the other occupants in the room, each absorbed in their work. Cas watched him in confusion, then shrugged and returned to Kevin's notes on the tablets.

Clapping his hands, Sam pushed to his feet again, before pulling the other man to his feet.

"C'mon. The task of your education in pop-culture falls to me, as Dean will have you watching truly terrible films and shows that will make you weep for humanity. I don't want you to think we're that much of a lost cause," he said pulling a baffled Cas along by his elbow, while Dean looks up in indignation.

"Hey!"

Sam didn't slow, just pointed at his brother. "Dude. Two words: Doctor. Sexy. You officially lose all voting privileges. You can teach him to cook or something, but we are not rotting his brain with your bad life choices in visual media."

"I have excellent tastes!" his brother yelled after them.

"Cartoon porn, Dean, that's all I'm saying!" Sam yelled back, which earned a chuckle from Cas. Sam grinned at him, hand falling away as they continued down the corridors and into one of the rooms they had set up as the rec room.

The former angel cast his gaze around, eyeing the couch. "Shouldn't we be focused on repairing the current situation and trying to find some alternative method of closing the gates of Hell?"

Sam moved over to their shelf of DVDs, running his index finger back and forth across the spines. "While, yes, in theory that is probably the right thing to do, it is not the best thing to do. Humans need downtime. To step back from the whirlwind that is their life, and have a period where they aren't having to worry about something. Stress kills, Cas." He grabbed the Star Trek reboot movie. "And if Dean and I always waited for an appropriate time to get in some R&R, we'd never get any, and would have been dead a long time ago just from the stress. It's a mental health thing that affects your physical health."

The angel was already seated on one end of the couch when Sam got the movie set up and took up position opposite him.

Cas frowned at the television screen. "It seems… counterproductive. Humans are so complicated. You need sleep, so much of it, and you need 'downtime' on top of sleep, or else your bodies turn against you, but if you do all this, all the work you are neglecting only adds to the stress you feel."

Sam met his gaze and shrugged, motioning towards the door. "That's why you get friends to help you out, because one person can only be expected to accomplish so much." He pointed at the other man. "All the heroes in our world only achieved great things through the support of those that cared about them."

A bemused smirk tugged at the corner of Cas' mouth at that, his brow arching in question. "Oh?"

Sam nodded sagely. "Harry Potter would be dead without Hermione. Totally. Sherlock Holmes had John Watson. The Doctor had all his companions. And if it were James Kirk by himself, no one would care, but it's when it's Spock and Kirk together as a team that they do the impossible." He frowned and shook his head. "Kirk's the main character, but like no one actually likes him on his own merit, it's the two of them together and that they make each other better people that is so great."

The angel's amused expression had faded as he considered this. "Yes, I can see why humans would find this inspiring, their desire for just such a relationship in their own life, for a friend to be there with them at their lowest, and to pull them in check when they would make choices they would later regret." His gaze was distant as he regarded the screen. "Such a friendship must be nearly impossible to find though."

Sam blinked, looking at him. The angel actually looked dejected. He swatted at the other man's arm with the back of his hand, earning a look of surprise. Sam chuckled.

"Impossible? Dude. First person you met on earth became that kind of friend for you, and Dean would probably die before admitting this, but as much as he hates that you lost your grace and that all of your siblings are in this mess, if it means he doesn't lose you? He's willing to accept all the crazy as the price for keeping you with _this_ family. You and he _are_ the impossible relationship other people only dream about." A fond smile crossed over Cas' features and Sam grinned at him. "And despite my brother being awesome in many areas, none of which will I admit to, I am sparing you much pain by seeing to your pop-culture education myself," he said, holding out the remote and starting the movie.

The angel huffed a small laugh and settled into his seat. "Well then thank you for saving me from cruel and unjust punishment."

Sam side-eyed him. "What's _worse_? After a few episodes of _Doctor Sexy_? You start to _like_ it. Despite how ridiculous it is." He waved a hand and whistled. "You are dodging a bullet, Cas. You have no idea."

They shared another grin before regarding the film.

* * *

On another such evening, Dean found himself searching the apparently abandoned Batcave until he got the rec room, finding Sam, Cas, Charlie, and Kevin all piled together on the couch watching…

He frowned. "Is that _My Little Pony_?"

Sam held up a finger. "Animated and yet better than _Doctor Sexy_ , so not a word, Dean."

"Where the _hell_ did we get _My Little Pony_?"

Charlie and Kevin fist bumped. "Bronies for life~!"

"Oh you have got to be kidding me."

Turning his head, Cas regarded the hunter who was looking at them like they had all parted with their sanity. "Yet, I still feel in safer hands allowing them to educate me in pop-culture rather than you, Dean."

Rather than be offended, Dean barked a laughed while Sam nudged the angel and they grinned conspiratorially at each other, the elder Winchester smiling fondly at them both. Charlie patted the arm of the couch.

"Have a seat, Dean. You can watch to see if Rainbow Dash can do a successful Sonic Rainboom."

Eyeing the members of his family, then the TV, Dean chuckled and took a seat. Sam stretched out an arm to offer him some popcorn from the bowl he and Cas had been sharing as the five of them watched the brightly colored ponies on the screen.

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	4. Prompt 4: Fake It Til You Make It

Prompt #4: Fake It Til You Make It

 **AN:** Done for a prompt that wanted a reverse of the episode where Dean had to walk Charlie through flirting. This was actually really hard, because Dean is Dean. He can charm anyone and would have no problem coming off as possibly flirting with a guy if that would get him information. So I had to give him a reason for this particular situation freaking him out, to his surprise and the surprise of his friends, so I could fill the prompt.  
 **Warning** : References to past sexual harassment of a character as a minor.

* * *

It was a good thing only the front of the private gym was glass, because Dean visibly doubled over and having a panic attack would not have been good. As it was, he was ducked around the corner- hidden from anyone inside- and trying very hard to get his breathing back to normal. He was failing rather spectacularly.

He had his phone out and dialed, pocketing it as soon as his ear piece started to ring.

Sam picked up. "Hello?"

"I can't do this," Dean blurted out. Sam started laughing, the jerk. "Sam, this isn't funny. I seriously cannot go in there and-and-" He swallowed, remembering the rainbow sign above the door, the clear 'members only' lettering on the glass under the gym name. "I cannot go in there and pretend I am gay in order to get a gym membership we only need for a couple of days."

Sam was _still_ laughing at him, despite the rising hysteria in Dean's voice. All the while, it was getting harder to breath, and all Dean could think of was being years younger and getting sized up by men entirely too old to be looking at him like that. He was reminded of unwanted gropes by strangers, and offers that had been more terrifying than appealing. The idea of what they expected him to pretend was bringing up every time he'd ever felt utterly vulnerable and out of his element, young and threatened by unwanted advances. Sam laughing at him was not helping.

"Sam!" he hissed into the phone, and that was what made his brother realize that something was actually wrong.

"Oh shit, Dean, you're being serious." His voice was instantly soothing. "Look, man, calm down. I thought you said you could handle this."

"You and Cas were still researching what the victims have in common and what caused their injuries," he wheezed. He doubled over, taking in long breathes through his nose and exhaling through his mouth.

He could hear muffled movement on the other end, and imagined Sam holding the phone between his head and shoulder. "Dude, I do not understand why you are panicking like this." And Dean would die before Sam ever found out as well. He'd made doubly sure no one ever looked at his brother the way he had been. "It's a job, Dean. Lie your way through like always. You flirted with that security guard-"

He straightened, leaning back against the building. "I was walking _Charlie_ through how to flirt as a _girl_ with a _guy_. I cannot go in there and just start flirting with some random guy-"

More muffled movement and voices and then suddenly it was Charlie's voice in his ear. "Dean? Charlie."

"Oh thank God," he sighed. "Don't laugh. Get away from Sam. I don't being laughed at right now."

"Don't worry. I've left him and Kevin in the library. I'm headed towards my room. What's the problem?"

He shook his head as though she could see the movement. "I can't go in there are pretend to be gay- no offense, Charlie, but I can't just- I mean, what do I do if the guy hits on me? Sam and I have never even _joined_ a gym before. Everything in me wants to flirt with the girl at the counter and use intimidation with the guy to get information."

"That is so not gonna work," she said, voice changing as she put him on speaker phone. He could hear her fingers on the keys of her laptop. "Look, Dean, I don't know what your childhood trauma is-"

"What? I never said-"

"Dean," she interjected, firm but not angry. "You are not a homophobic ass, so you panicking is not that. You are freaking out from something else you are relating this to, and the fact that you don't know what to do if he hits on you, while everything wants to be aggressive in self-defense, tells me it's a childhood trauma." Her voice turned gentle, "They're just people, Dean, everyday people. It's a business; they want your business. They will be friendly, possibly charming, it's good customer service, not a threat. Be friendly and charming right back. You are new to the area, don't know anybody, looking to get plugged into the community and make friends."

His breathing had returned to normal and he was nodding, her voice reassuring and calm. Good customer service wanting his business. New in town. That was easy.

"Ask for Michael, he's the owner and manager. He's about your age, looks like a fitness trainer on TV, dark hair and nice smile. One of your neighbors down the street directed you to this gym, said Mike could tell you everything the gym had to offer and local athletic fundraisers and benefits. Be _nice_ , _you_ want information, _he_ has it."

He nodded again, pausing in rounding the building to go inside. "What do I do if he or someone else does hit on me or asks about my… partner or boyfriend or whatever?"

"If he hits on you, subtly bring up your boyfriend, or your girlfriend if you want to tell him you're bi, but dating a guy will just be easier. Or flirt back, pretending he's Cas if you can't flirt with him on his own merit."

"How would pretending he's Cas make it easier to flirt with him?" he demanded.

She scoffed. "Dean. You flirt with Cas _all the_ _time_. You are so heads over for him that it's not even funny, just completely adorable! Poor fallen angel is probably all confused because of it."

"Why is that?" he asked warily, heart hammering against his ribs for a new reason.

"Because you shamelessly flirt and tease him, leaving him flustered and flushed, and then you never follow through on it, so he probably thinks he's just imagining it, rather than it being something you are actually doing, which you totally are. The two of you have no personal space. And you touch him, all the time, like he'll vanish if you don't. You _flirt_ with Cas, so if it makes it easier to grease the wheels with a little harmless flirting, pretend the guy is Cas."

He snorted as he rounded the building and slipped into the welcoming air-conditioned interior. The guy behind the counter had to be Michael, both he and the young girl looked up and smiled at Dean's entrance.

"How are you today?" questioned Mike in greeting.

The girl went back to filling out forms, brows pinched as she scribbled in boxes.

"Good," answered Dean, head bobbing as he let his gaze do a quick sweep of the mostly unoccupied gym. "I, uh, just moved to town. Some neighbors directed me here when I mentioned looking for a gym. Said to ask for Mike?" he said, letting the last part come out as a question as his gaze returned to the man and then down to his name tag.

The other man's smile broadened, and wow, yeah, Charlie was right, he totally looked like TV trainer. "That would be me," he affirmed, offering his hand for Dean to shake. Dean took the proffered hand while Charlie murmured assurances in his ear. "Mike Turner."

"Dean Winchester," he greeted, internally wincing as he gave his real name. Charlie was soothing him immediately, fingers flying over the keys of her laptop, assuring him she could feed him another Winchester's information to put on the membership forms.

Hand falling away, Michael loosely crossed his arms over his chest. "So what exactly are you looking for in a gym? We don't have classes here, but we do offer fitness training and advice if you'd like, we always have a fitness trainer on hand during regular business hours."

"Ask him for a tour of the facilities," Charlie prompted.

Dean made a circle in the air with his finger. "Can I get a walk-through? Sort of get a feel for the place?"

The other man immediately nodded, stepping out from around the counter and motioning for Dean. The hunter fell into step with him as Mike walked them through the gym, pointing out the different equipment and what it focused on, the newest machines they had gotten, ones they were going to replace with newer models. Dean asked questions and nodded in all the right places. Mike led him into the locker room, and pointed him toward the shower stalls, changing rooms, and toilets, told him they recommended people bring their own locks for the lockers and other various information.

As they were making their way back up to the front, Mike asked, "So what kind of membership are you looking for? We have several packages-"

"My boyfriend and I don't always keep the same workout schedules," Charlie said in his ear, and Dean parroted it back, "so we would need two cards to come in at different times. Do we have to get two memberships or do you have a couple's package?"

Mike nodded. "We do. We also have a family package as well, if you'd like to have up to four people signed up."

Blinking with a start, Dean frowned. "Up to _four_? Where are we gonna get two other people?"

The other man chuckled and waggled his head back and forth. "Well, if either of you have children over the age of fourteen, housemates also use it, or if you have a workout partner, or a sibling-"

Dean scoffed and waved him off. "Sam can get his own membership." Both Mike and Charlie laughed, and Dean grinned.

"You would not be the first to feel that way. You said you and your boyfriend don't always keep the same schedule?" Dean nodded, and Mike gestured toward the glass doors. "Well, we're open twenty-four seven, but for safety reasons, after ten the door locks and you have to have your key card to get in, someone will be here, of course, but not just anyone is allowed in. What do you and, uh…" He gestured towards Dean.

"Cas," Dean said automatically, and nearly winced. "My boyfriend's name is Cas."

God, he was so glad Sam wasn't on the phone with him anymore because he'd probably would hurt himself laughing at Dean. Meanwhile, the elder Winchester could feel his face heating in embarrassment at the statement. Cas would probably just roll with the lie had he been there. He'd gotten pretty good at improv.

Mike nodded, head angling curiously. "If you don't mind my asking, what do you and Cas do that brought you here and keeps you on different schedules?"

"Work," Dean told him. "Work brought us here and keeps us on crazy schedules. I restore cars, mostly classics…" He licked his lip, and then smiled. "Cas is retired military. He does a lot of research work now, really ought to publish books with all the stuff he knows."

Mike's brows shot up. "Impressive."

The smile on his face turned fond, thinking of his friend. "Yeah, he is." He huffed an embarrassed laugh and scratched the back of his neck. "He's kind of perfect. I have no idea why puts up with me, and don't have a clue what I'd do without him."

Charlie chuckled in his ear. "Look at you gushing your love for the man to a complete stranger. You're embarrassing me, Dean. Ask him about the recent incident. One of the other neighbors said there was just some trouble and someone got hurt."

Dean asked, questioning Mike about the crime in the area or any hostility towards the LGBT community or the gym specifically.

The gym owner assured him they had had no such problems, that it was a quiet community, and everyone got along.

"Ask him if there's an app to track how often you log into the gym for fitness purposes, and if it can be used by all the people on your membership," Charlie instructed. Dean nodded along as Mike told him about a marathon the gym was going to take part in to raise money for the local children's hospital, suggesting that Dean and Cas might like to join up in order to meet people and help the cause. Dean smirked as Charlie scoffed. "What am I talking about? I can just hack their systems and cross-reference all the members comings and goings. Forget I said anything. Don't ask him that."

They talked for a few more minutes before Dean signed up for the gym, Charlie giving him a fake social security number and bank account. Apparently she set up fake identities for them using their _real_ identities given that they had a permanent address now.

"You know," she began conversationally, "you really ought to ask Cas out on a date." He snorted lightly. "I'm serious. He'd say 'yes'. It wouldn't have to be a date-date, just you and him getting time alone. You make time to do stuff with Sam, and with me, and even check in on Kevin, but you never pull Cas aside and say, 'Hey, let's go get coffee, or go to my room, I have lube.'"

Dean coughed loudly, fighting the urge to glance around to see if anyone over heard that, before glaring at his paperwork again and clenching his teeth. She would bring the subject up when he couldn't actually snap back at her.

She cackled with delight in his ear. "Oh I'm just teasing, though I still think he'd be game for that last one as well... Though, not on the first date. Actually _date_ _him_ a while before you go there. He matters more than your previous relationships."

Dean gave a hum of agreement, and could practically see her grinning.

"What would you do without me, Dean? You'd combust is what you'd do. I'm the sister you come to with all these things you can't talk to Sam about."

He made another sound of agreement.

"Seriously, though. Ask Cas out, just go do… normal stuff, rather than letting his every earthly experience be about hunting. Take him for coffee, people watch at the park, go see a movie, go shopping at the local farmer's market for groceries together. You don't have to call it a date unless he specifically asks, then give him the option for it to be a date or not. Guy's in love with you, too, which you have _clearly_ failed to pick up on."

Finished with the paperwork, Dean shook hands with Mike, grinning and accepting the two key cards, before heading out to the parking lot.

"Y'know," he told Charlie, glancing once over his shoulder at the gym, "we actually could just maintain these memberships. I mean, we live fifteen minutes away and it would give us an excuse to get out of the bunker for a while, give us a break when we aren't on cases."

"We'd need more than the couple's membership. We'd have to upgrade to the family one," Charlie pointed out. "It should be fine so long as we don't all plan to go to the gym at the same time, and Sam seems to prefer running outside unless it's flat out raining. I think Kevin is allergic to anything more athletic than track."

Cranking the car, Dean let it idle a moment, gaze focused on the distance. "Hey, Charlie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

He heard her smile again. "You're welcome, Dean."

The next morning, he watched as Cas made his way into the kitchen, greeting the other occupants of the Batcave before heading toward the coffee pot. Dean caught him before he got there, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

"C'mon, Cas, you and I are going out for coffee." The former angel blinked, surprised, and frowned. Dean swallowed, casting only the briefest of glances over Cas' shoulder at Charlie who was giving him a double-thumbs up and a wink. He looked back at Cas, ignoring the confusion on his brother's face. Kevin was too busy trying not to fall asleep in his breakfast to notice the rest of them. "You want to?"

After a moment's consideration, Cas inclined his head and smiled. "Yes, I'd like that."

Dean grinned. "Awesome."

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	5. Prompt 5: Listen to the sound

The request was for Dean pampering Cas, Sam, and Kevin in their own individual ways and for them to return the favor and pamper him in return. "Pamper" isn't the word I would have gone with, and I didn't fill the prompt exactly, but I hope you enjoy Dean doing for those he cares about.

 **Prompt #5: Listen to the Sound**

Whistling as he made his way through the base from his room, Dean faltered as he passed Cas' open door. Standing in the doorway, he regarded the scene before him, brows furrowed and arms crossing over his chest.

Cas was laying on his bed, fingers interlaced on his chest as he stared at the ceiling. What gave Dean pause was the music coming through the speakers of the of the iPod dock, the female vocalist's singing upbeat and cheerful, but frustrated.

 _Sometimes I hate every single_

 _Stupid word you say_

 _Sometimes I wanna slap you_

 _And your whole face_

 _Woah oh oh_

 _There's no one quite like you_

 _You push all my buttons down_

 _I know life would suck without you_

Clicking his tongue, Dean gestured idly to the device he was pretty sure was Charlie's, while Cas only slid his gaze to glance in Dean's direction before regarding the ceiling again.

"Dude," Dean started. "The hell are you listening to?"

 _At the same time_

 _I wanna hug you_

 _I wanna wrap my hands around your neck_

 _You're an asshole_

 _But I love you_

 _And you make me so mad I ask myself_

 _Why I'm still here_

 _And where could I go?_

 _You're the only love I've ever known_

Those blue eyes, filled with irritation, slid over to regard Dean again, Cas' whole head rolling into the look he now cast at Dean.

"She speaks to me."

"Are you serious?"

He regarded the ceiling again. "I can appreciate her frustration and anger."

 _But I hate you_

 _I really hate you_

 _So much I think it must be_

 _True Love_

 _True Love_

 _It must be_

 _True Love_

 _Nothing else can break my heart like_

 _True Love_

 _True Love_

 _No one else can break my heart like you_

 _Oh oh oh oh oh_

Dean stared at the device dubiously, brow arching higher as the woman continued to sing, then turned his head to look at the former angel again.

"Yeah, but-"

Cas' eyes closed. "My room, my music, Dean. You know where the door is if you don't like it."

The angel had gotten a lot sassier since he'd become human, snapping in irritation when his patience frayed. He was less tolerant as a human, and rightfully going through mood swings as he tried to cope with everything that had been dumped on him or violently stripped away. This was, after all, his first time fully experiencing his own emotions, and it was like having to relearn them all over again. He was having to learn everything about being human, which included having a taste in music.

Lifting his chin, Dean smiled. "Well, I'm glad you found something you like, Cas." He paused, looking at the ipod dock. Charlie would head back home in the morning and more than likely end up taking it back with her, leaving Cas with the record players and albums around the base. Green eyes sliding back over to the newest resident of the house, Dean hooked his thumb over his shoulder. "Well, I'm about to head out and run some errands. I don't suppose you need anything while I'm out, do you?" he asked, jingling the keys to his baby.

Castiel's perception of wants and needs was another thing that set him apart. He had the bare bones that met his needs, and didn't think about indulgent wants. Cas made due with what he had and was content, a soldier, so that when he shook his head in response, Dean hadn't expected anything else.

Dean's first stop was to the used music store in town, tiny and cramped, with posters and novelty items throughout on display. The bell jingled at his entrance, causing the sleepy-eyed clerk to look up in greeting.

"Hi. Can I help you find something today?"

Opening his mouth to automatically brush off the offer, Dean paused and pointed at him. "Actually, you can," he said, approaching the counter, which seemed to catch the clerk off guard as well. "I have a friend that has developed an appreciation for female singers, or maybe there are singers of both genders, I dunno, I'm a classic rock fan, anyway but singers that, like..." His gaze cast about as he tried to find the words he needed. "Dude, 'angry chick music' is all I can think to call it," he looked up sharply. "Not the yelling incoherently kind, though he may like some yelling. Do you have any artists that basically use their music as their own form of therapy to help them, I dunno, _deal_?"

"Are we wanting emo music here or-"

Dean held up a hand. "God, no. If that were the case, I'd just loan him Sam's music and there's already enough of that in the house. No, like I said, angry and frustrated would be best. That's the bulk of what he's working through at the moment, I think." He cast his gaze about. "Also, maybe some classical and a church music cd, though he might throw it at my head."

Making a knowing sound as he came around the counter, the clerk motioned for Dean to follow him. "Lost his religion, huh?"

"Way more complicated than that, but yeah." He looked around again. "And do you sell used cd players?"

He called Charlie while he was out shopping, making sure he could get a copy of whatever CD Cas had been listening to on her iPod, so he could listen to it once she left. He was happy to see he had the rest of the artist's albums already in his hands.

"I've got a spare mp3 player he can have, too," Charlie said. "So he can listen in the safety of his own head when he wants. I can even make him some playlists and mix cds. I'll have it all set up by the time you get back."

Dean made another stop before home, and was pleased with how seamlessly Charlie moved herself over into Cas' space, blocking Dean and his purchases from sight as he moved through and to the corridor of rooms.

Removing Charlie's dock, he replaced it with the small silver cd player and stand for his small collection of music. Darting across the hall, he returned Charlie her things and got the items she'd put together for Cas. For extra flare, he went ahead and put in a mix cd and put it on repeat so that it would be waiting whenever the angel made it back to his room. He set the mp3 player by the cd player on Cas' chest of drawers, before removing the final item from the bag and placing the bag of foil-wrapped chocolate against Cas' pillow.

Balling up the plastic bag and tossing it in the trash, Dean stood a moment, hands on his hips as he regarded his handiwork, before pivoting sharply to go start on dinner for this motley household, since it was his turn to cook.

He froze at the sight of Castiel standing in the doorway, regarding Dean and the room with a puzzled expression.

"You aren't suppose to be here," Dean blurted, and then immediately wanted to kick himself.

He was gonna be cool about this, smooth, no big deal. If Cas thought he was making a big deal, the angel might get offended thinking they were trying to coddle him in his new human form, thinking they thought he didn't have what it took. Cas had a mess of insecurities in his new human state.

"It's my room, Dean," Cas said pointedly, before eyeing the gifts in confusion. "What are you doing?" he wondered, moving into the room, Dean revolving around him to the point where they basically switched positions and Dean stood warily at the door peering in.

The hunter let his gaze take in the other man's appearance, the faded jeans and soft pullover sweater paired with a button down shirt. Curious fingers moved over the spines of the cd cases, inspecting them and the player, before ridiculously blue eyes drifted over to Dean again, soft with wonder and warmth.

"These are for me?"

Tongue darting over his bottom lip, Dean broke eye contact and shuffled his feet awkwardly. He cleared his throat. "It's, uh, a house warming present. People do it when you move into a new place or something, I-I'm not very familiar with it myself." He glanced up at Cas. "It means 'Welcome home'." He could feel his face heating up, and quickly looked away, coughing and nodding his head toward the bag of chocolate. "And, uh, you might want to find a drawer to hide those in. If Sam finds out you have them, they aren't safe."

Smiling, the angel gave a nod. "Thank you… Dean."

Returning the expression, Dean nodded and hooked a thumb over his shoulder. "Okay, well, I have to get started making dinner-"

"May I help?" the other man asked quickly, then seemed to wince, like he hadn't actually meant for the words to come out.

Smile spreading wider, Dean gave a single nod, reaching out to wrap an arm around the angel's shoulders and lead him toward the kitchen. "Sure. I need all the help I can get with cooking around here. If Kevin had his way, we'd been living on ramen noodles, and Sam only knows how to make chili. And sadly, Charlie hasn't agreed to just move in yet."

The angel was nodding. "Yes, I've notice we all look forward to nights when you cook the most."

"It's because I'm awesome."

Cas turned his head to look at him, their eyes meeting, and Dean saw that some of the haunted expression that had been lurking in them was gone. "You are awesome," he agreed, and Dean squeezed his shoulder affectionately and launched into an explanation of what they were having for dinner and where they had to start.

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	6. Are you listening It's me,DeanWinchester

**Prompt #6: Are you listening? It's me, Dean Winchester**

Summary: "I prayed to you! Every night!" Missing scenes from Purgatory.

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Dean's voice is the first thing Cas hears in the mornings. It's also the last thing he hears at night fall. Some nights he hears it all through the dark hours, sometimes it's just his name he hears.

He hears Dean loud and clear, but doesn't answer, can't answer, though the loss of his friend's presence is worse than anything he's gone through since they landed in Purgatory. It's worse than anything he's experienced before, which is an interesting realization, though he can make no sense of it. How Dean's voice in his head, while being so far away, aches worse than physical torture he's endured. Forcing himself to stay away when Dean sounds so desperate and scared feels like dying.

But this is for Dean's benefit. He is keeping Dean safe by staying one step ahead of him, or trying best he can to anyway. Truth be told, Dean seems better at tracking him than all the monsters in Purgatory combined. Half the time, Cas isn't running to lead the monsters away from the hunter, he's just running from the, well, hunter.

 _'Day, uh,… I've stopped counting,'_ Dean says. _'Weeks. Close to a month now. They all blend together seeing as how I don't require food or sleep here, which is a relief because I haven't seen the first thing I could eat, unless I want Roast Vampire, and haven't had much of a chance to slow down, much less sleep.'_ He can hear Dean sigh, and how tired he sounds makes Cas' heart clench tight in his borrowed body. _'If you were here, Cas, we could watch out for each other. Take turns keeping watch so the other one can at least close their eyes. Wherever you are, Cas, I'll find you. Don't lose hope.'_

A snort escapes Cas, and it's dangerously close to being something else, something more like a sob. For weeks now, Dean has been acting under the assumption that Cas left because he was taken. Dean thinks he's trying to save Cas, keeps encouraging the angel that he's not alone, even though they are so far apart.

In many ways, Castiel does feel trapped and alone, and it's only Dean's voice in his head that keeps him sane. Madness apparently can't follow you into the world between worlds. If they do ever get out, he wonders if he'll automatically lose his mind again, or if he'll be in control like he is now. Well, what control he has, but feels dangerously close to losing. As hard as this world is, he likes being in control of his actions, rather than the befuddled dream-like state he'd been in before, where everything was too much, too confusing, where he felt too much.

XX

 _'I hear you've been seen running from and battling Leviathan. You can do it, Cas. Kick 'em in the ass. Don't let them capture you. There's a cavern by the cliffs I had to lay low in for a few days, try to make your way there. It's safe. Well, safer than being out in the open. I'm making my way to your last known. If we miss each other, wait for me at the cavern.'_

Cas turns and runs in the opposite direction of the caverns.

XX

 _'I swear to God, if anything has happened to you Cas, there will be absolute hell to pay. I will kill every last monster in this place.'_ He goes quiet for a minute and Cas can still sense him thinking, can feel the way Dean's feelings are a tumultuous, chaotic mess the angel cannot decipher. Human emotions are still so foreign to him, he doesn't think he'll ever understand the other attached feeling to every throb of worry and anger. _'Please be okay,'_ Dean prays, voice like a whisper ghosting over Castiel's mind. His emotions are layered and complex and Cas stands no chance of understanding them, not when an angel's emotions are so muted by comparison so as not to impair their soldier judgment.

Steeling himself, Cas rises in the cavern long since abandoned by Dean. There's a message carefully scratched onto the stone wall. _'Wait for me.''_

Going to the entrance, the angel glances around and takes off at a jog.

XX

At one point, Dean's voice goes quiet. He isn't in Cas' head that morning, nor as the hours drag on and Cas gets in a fight against several Leviathan, only to be saved when several other monsters show up to fight for who has rights to the angel. Castiel gets away while they kill each other off. It's been silent in Cas' mind all day by the time night falls, and Cas is straining to hear something, anything from the other man. He checks to make sure his angelic powers are still there and that this place isn't draining him of them. Everything is in order, everything works, he should be able to hear Dean.

Unless he can't hear him because Dean can't pray. Because there isn't a Dean to pray.

The only thing he can't do is sense where Dean is, and that nearly drives Cas to insanity. He can't fly to where Dean is, just to see for himself that the hunter is safe, even without revealing himself. It's probably for the best. Castiel isn't sure he has the will power to walk away from Dean twice if he saw him again.

In the morning, Cas' head is still silent and the angel is in a near panic, turning and running back in the direction Dean had last told him he was. He could be hurt. Silence doesn't mean dead. Can't mean dead. If Dean is dead…

Cas can think of no reason to not just let the monsters have him if Dean is dead. He's only alive in order to try and keep them away from the hunter, after all. With Dean gone, there's no reason to keep doing this, to keep holding on. The only thing he was holding on to was Dean.

XX

He's in the middle of a fight and getting 'his ass handed to him', as Dean would put it, when Dean's perfect voice is in his head again.

 _'Okay, giving you your space isn't working. It's worse than this one-sided telephone game,'_ Dean says, and he sounds angry and tired and worried. _'I can't stand this, man. Where are you? I thought maybe you might try to come to me, change things up, but I can't stand not at least trying to make this contact. Maybe one day you'll hear me. Or maybe you can and just can't answer. If you're some place rough, Cas, I can't stand the thought of you feeling like you're there alone. I will find you and we'll get through this. We're gonna go home, Cas. Together. Hang in there.'_

Castiel takes another blow to the jaw that sends him sprawling to the ground on his hands and knees, and despite the fatigue he feels, suddenly he's up and fighting like a wild thing, using both his own powers and his body to lay out every one of the enemies that had surrounded him.

Dean is _alive_! Alive and he hasn't given up hope, is still looking for Cas, and if Dean is alive, Cas will keep fighting, won't ever stop fighting. As long as Castiel is drawing attention to himself, and all the monsters and leviathan are focused on trying to capture and kill him, they can't shift their focus to Dean.

Bleeding and panting, Castiel is doubled over, wondering how long they've been in this hell dimension between dimensions where there is never any rest or time and only blood and fighting and running.

A twig snaps as someone moves through the forest, jerking Cas from him thoughts. He straightens and takes off at a sprint. He's far away from the clearly already when Dean steps into it minutes later.

XX

He is exhausted and tired beyond what words can describe when Dean actually catches up to him. Cas had only stopped for a minute. He'd been stupid, constantly coming back to this one place like he had, but it seems to be the only place he can find a reprieve. He doesn't know what powers the water holds, but nothing ever came for him here.

Until Dean Winchester. Of course it would be Dean that found Castiel when he didn't want to be found, when he was so tired and lonely there was no way Cas would be able to walk away again. Of course it was Dean that never stopped looking for Cas for the better half of a year, that kept the angel running as much from him as the monsters.

A flood of emotions nearly overwhelm him, most of them unfamiliar, leaving him unable to properly say what all he felt, torn between joy at seeing Dean with his own eyes and the heart racing fear that made him want to take off at a sprint. There is a terrible relief, as well, that _finally_ … he is done running. That he's been caught. That the inevitable has finally taken place and there is not more fighting to be done.

XX

Dean doesn't stop praying once they were together again. The first time he hears the hunter's voice in his head, he starts sharply, head snapping in the other man's direction. He's suddenly panicked that they've somehow gotten separated again. Now that they are together, Cas isn't sure he can survive their separation. Knows he _can't_.

It is part of the plan, but not yet, not _now_ , not until he's seen Dean to safety first. Then...

 _'We're gonna make it through this, Cas'_ the hunter prays. Castiel's reaction is enough to make Benny look at him curiously, then to Dean where Cas has snapped his attention. The hunter is seated with his back against the broad trunk of a tree, sharpening and cleaning his weapon. For all the world, he appears to not be aware of either of them. _'We're gonna make it through and go home. Don't you give up, you hear me? I need you.'_

It isn't the first time Dean has said that. Cas thinks it is an odd choice of words. Clearly, the hunter is doing fine on his own in Purgatory, and even finding an ally and a way out long before he'd ever found Castiel.

 _'I need you.'_

Need.

Castiel sighs and turns back to washing Leviathan ooze off of his hands. The human language is frustrating. Needs were things you can't live without, can't survive without: air, water, food. To be deprived of a _need_ would ensure your death.

He rises and steals a glance at the hunter as he and Benny now discuss where they are heading and what is the best way to get there. They discuss terrain and the monsters hunting all three of them now.

Dean does not need Castiel. It is quite possibly the opposite. Even more so, Dean is better off without Castiel, safer. He would be away from the vengeance of Heaven that would rain down on the angel once they got back home. Here or there, Castiel would be targeted, and so long as he remained by Dean's side, the hunter was just as easily a casualty of the war Castiel had started.

' _I need you safe,_ ' thought Cas, wishing not for the first time that the hunter could hear _his_ prayers. _'Safe and alive, and that will be enough for me. Will_ have _to be enough, because you are better off if I stay behind where my enemies can't get to you. Because I need_ you _, Dean.'_

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	7. Prompt 7: Here I am Without You

The chime above the door to the diner dinged, just as Cas and Dean slid into opposite sides of the booth from each other, Dean smoothing down his tie while Castiel glanced toward the door, expecting Sam.

"Did your brother say how long he thought he might be?" Their eyes met across the table, the hunter arching a brow. Just seeing the other man shouldn't hurt like this. "Should we wait for him or go on asking questions?"

Scoffing, Dean waved him off, returning the waitress' smile as she signaled she'd seen them. He wanted to act normal, like everything in him didn't want to beg Cas' forgiveness. Beg, plead, and grovel that the angel take him back- even though it had been the hunter who'd said to leave.

"No. That's the great thing about a team, I guess. He can do research while you and I do the running around. Saves time," he said as they scanned over their menus.

The waitress came and took their orders then, Dean watching curiously the ease with which Cas interacted with the woman, smiling and head angled as he gave her his full attention. He even went so far as to throw the harried woman a wink, making her to grin as she scurried off with their orders. The moment she was gone, Dean watched the shift in the other man's demeanor take place, the way the smile full of warmth was just gone, expression serious instead. He watched as long fingers folded together on the table top and Castiel pivoted toward Dean. As he opened his mouth, ready to ask a question, Cas faltered at whatever expression was on Dean's face.

"What?" he wondered, blue eyes searching.

Shifting his expression to something neutral, the blond pursed his lips and shook his head, trying to ignore how hard it was to breathe. "Wha- Nothing, was just thinking." The way the other man tilted his head in confusion coaxed a shadow of a smirk out of him, easing the tightness in his chest. This was familiar. _This_ was Cas. The Cas he knew. "You've gotten better at interacting with others, is all."

This Cas was both his Cas and a stranger, if felt like. Dean had watched him all day, fascinated and sick, as Castiel interacted with people, put on faces and took them off like masks, like a hunter, wielding his expressions like a weapon. The former angel could be charming when it would get him his way, or as gruff soldier-mode as he needed to be to get what he wanted.

It made Dean feel like he were losing his friend, the man that had such a place in Dean's heart that his death had been the final straw to break the hunter. Not even losing Sam had been able to do that. It felt like Cas were drifting like smoke, sliding through his fingers and falling away from Dean.

In his mind, he saw the alternate future version of Castiel, the one that was a husk of who'd he'd once been. A Castiel that had lost his hope and will, a world where both Cas and Dean's other-selves hung on and stayed alive more out of habit than desire.

How long did it take for his Cas to become the Cas in that timeline? What had to happen to push the angel that far?

Across from him, Castiel shrugged elegantly and leaned back in his seat, leg brushing Dean's under the table as he stretched out. The hunter took a sip of his drink, tried to dissipate the dryness of his throat and mouth.

"Survival demanded adaptation after…" Cas let the sentence hang unfinished, making a vague gesture with one hand instead.

"After I threw you out."

Something in Cas' eyes flashed, hard and hurt and angry all at once. Even though Dean was the one to say it, though they had been his actions, it still made him want to flinch, dropping his gaze guiltily. Telling Cas to leave had hurt more than Dean knew how to articulate, had hurt more than he thought himself capable of enduring. He'd wanted to go running after the angel as soon as he'd left, to do whatever he had to to make the angel come back home where he'd be safe and with the people who loved him most.

But he couldn't. Was reminded why every time Sam looked at him, hazel eyes studying his features. It left Dean wondering if it was Sam watching him, or Ezekiel. Even after he'd spun the half-truth to Cas about why the angel was having to stay away, that he risked bringing Heaven down on them while Sam was still healing, and that not even the bunked could withstand all of Heaven raining down on it… it didn't ease the barbed wire wrapped around Dean's chest, the way it's metal thorns sunk deeper every time he remembered Cas was out there on his own.

With a sigh, Cas shifted in his seat, resting his forearms on the table as he tried to catch Dean's gaze. The hunter glanced at him.

"I know why you did it, Dean," he said, sounding so understanding it only made it hurt worse. Dean cast his gaze to the side, staring at their reflections in the window instead. Cas mimicked him, propping his chin in his hand. "Sam always comes first for you, it's been your whole life. If you were willing to sell your own soul to save him, this really is mild by comparison. I think I needed it."

Dean did look at him then, head snapping up to look at the man across the table. Blue eyes slid to regard him, the corner of the former angel's mouth curling up in a look that was playful. The angel had no idea how his trying to be strong was killing Dean one knife under his ribs at a time.

"Had to learn I could stand on my own two feet, you know? See for myself I was still capable- even without my grace, without being what I had always been and taken for granted." His smirk became a grin, teeth and gums in a way Dean had never seen from him. How was he always so beautiful? Even without his grace, Dean couldn't ever mistake him for anything but an angel. "I could hear the same ass chewing Bobby gave me last time I was human." A huff of laughter escaped the hunter, some of the tension easing out of his shoulders as he imaged the lecture Bobby would give all them were he still alive. God, Dean missed him. He could really do with the other man's counsel given recent events.

As the waitress came out with their food, Cas threw him a smile, but this time it was warmer, more private. "Besides, you've never done anything but amaze me with what you're capable of. You're my reference when I don't know what to do. I end up mimicking you a lot."

Snorting, Dean bit his bottom lip, giving his head a light shake. "I'm gonna go ahead and tell you I am so not life-model material, buddy." He grinned cheekily and prayed Cas couldn't see the way it was forced.

Giving a one sided shrug, Castiel angled his head and winked at him. "Oh, I don't know. I think you turned out alright," he drawled, giving the hunter a look Dean would swear- coming from anyone else- was flirtatious.

He huffed a laugh and looked down at his drink. "Dude, I've got a list of flaws and fuck-ups longer than my arm. Can't seem to stop making them no matter how hard I try." The truth of his next words made him look up at the angel. "Maybe it's best you're free of me now before you get hurt- or worse, killed, like I seem to get everyone around me killed."

The man on the other side of the booth canted his head, impossible blue eyes studying Dean in a way that made the hunter feel naked. Then, in a flash, one hand had snapped out, yanking Dean forward by his tie. Castiel met him half-way over the table until their noses almost brushed. His gaze still studied him even as the Dean's eyes widened in surprise (and a twinge of fear), remembering the other times he'd pushed too far.

His eyes grew wider still as Cas closed the distance between them and pressed their mouths together- other patrons of the diner be damned. It was a soft kiss, barely more than a press of lips together before the former angel was pulling away and sitting back in his seat, his eyes fathomless and mouth curled at the corner in a way that was possessive and sad.

"Push me away all you want, Dean, for my own sake or the sake of yourself and others," he said with a shake of his head, "but you'll never actually be rid of me." He winked, and it was definitely flirting. "You walking away only means I have to follow you, not that you get to leave me behind, Winchester."

Tongue darting out over his lips, Dean made an aborted move to reach for the hand the angel still had on the table. Instead, he drew his hands back and dropped them beneath the booth, gripping his knees. He kept his gaze locked on the table top.

"Cas… I _will_ find a way to be able to bring you home one day." He lifted his gaze, willing the angel to understand. "I just need time." _Please don't give up,_ he thought. _Don't give up on this, or on me._

Castiel nudged his foot beneath the table as he inclined his head. "I'm looking forward to that day, Dean."

A bitter laugh escaped the blond and he shook his head, before forcing himself to meet the other man's gaze.

"Not as much as I am, Cas."


End file.
